Gently Shifting People...

Ben 的个人资料Djartistknight,Breaks in...照片日志列表

6月23日

Gently Shifting People...

WOW..By the Gods (yes,all of them,no discriminating)...it's been over a month since i updated 'Breaks'...Time flies and all that malarky!

I'm very surprised it has to be said. I didn't realise i'd filled my time so constructively,so as to not get round to filling this here Blog box with what can only be described as 'drivel'. There again,i say that,and people still read it...at least it's in coherent English...

Now..a recent visitor ( hey Kev ) suggested i get back to writing along the lines of something sensible,a collection of my thoughts and feelings based on a particular subject,rather then my usual ( and highly original..not ) 'list' idea,a simple and easy way for me to relate recent activities.Why did i start doing it...well,i thought it would be a nice way to lay things out,and it would help me also,as,when i read it all back,i might remember something else. It would then be far easier to type 'Number...( whichever ) on the end of what i'd already written,rather than,remember something when i'm almost done with the biggest essay in the world,and then trying to find a relative spot for said item. MSN would then happily lose all my hard work anyway! Sounds sad i know,but i am a rambler in my thoughts,it's rare i don't get distracted half way through any project,be it housework,or painting a new figure. I am,as they say,rather random.

This isn't to say i can't talk for England on a given subject! Oh no,get me on something i know about,and am passionate about,then i can stand all day with like minded people,till the cows have come home,seen me STILL loitering,talking,and walked off again,moo-ing with despair...

Now,when i went back to reply to Mr Kevin's Blog ( a superb read i must add ),i noticed one of the main themes in his writing was about friends,both people he knew in person,and ones from the Internet. This got my attention,it's an extremely interesting concept,bearing in mind how many of us have the Internet these days,and all these chat rooms,forums and messenger services mean that we're constantly meeting new people on all sorts of levels. It got me musing on the people i knew,the hows,whys,wheres and whens of our meetings,be it on the many computer related stuffs,or in actual contact.

My thoughts took me right back to school,Secondary school in particular.I see this time and place as where the most growing up is done,you're all at that certain age,you all think you know everything,and,rather harshly,its probably the place where the most stereotyping happens. You know what i mean,the 'labelling' of people. For example,me.I was fairly short. I wore glasses. My mother took measures to make sure i always looked smart. I saw school as somewhere to learn,so did the work i was meant to. I was fairly quiet. So naturally,i was labelled a 'swot' or geek' by most people at the school. It didn't bother me really,it amused me that the people who called these names out in the halls were people who'd never even spoken to me properly,they had no clue who i was,what i was about..they simply heard it off of one of their friends,and decided that was me,a 'geek'. It's the old cliche,judged without a hearing.

It's something that can't be stopped,despite what anyone says. It's how things go,and for me,i found it an important lesson. See,it obviously wasn't just me that got picked on,there were others...i remember them all well,we were the group that formed due to not being 'in' with those considered popular. Pathetic but there you are. At the time,i could have been considered pretty bitter about it all,but,as i look back,i see what happened,and smile. Why? Because in those times of feeling left out,i met some amazing people,people i may never have spoken to otherwise,and,10 years on from school,i STILL talk to a lot of them. It's bullshit to say "oh,i'd never judge people by how they look " etc,i always thought i was pretty easy going,but when i look back at some of my mates,i do think if i'd been left to my own devices,i would never have said 'hi' to them.One girl was a Goth,one lad seemed a bit feminine in his ways,another lad's family had some real issues at home...you get the idea..we were all pretty individual for whatever reason.We all ended up as our own little group,and i tell you something,those 5 years in Secondary education were a lot of fun due to these people,and,whilst they might not read this,i'm saying it now,thankyou!

So..that's some history there.Already,at that point in my life,i'd met some long term friends. I say 'friends',because thats what they are...for the last 10 years,a few of them have stayed in contact,we've been out,helped each other through some times. I actually have 3 'groups' of people i know..in my head at least. 'Friends',those people that are really special,the ones that have helped you through those bad times,they've stuck around regardless. Then you have 'Mates',its almost like the collection of current people you hang around with,sounds a bit harsh maybe,but you may see my point.As you move home,or jobs,your setting and surroundings change,and so do the people you know...Finally,'Acquaintances',those people you do talk to,but are just sort of in the backround. That's just me of course,call me strange if you will...it's happened before!

I read once that in the average human life,you meet around 12,000 different people,and yet,only 10 or so of them will be around you for the duration. Strange to think isn't it? Already i have names in my head of people i knew,and havent seen or spoken to in a long time.Some for reasons we couldn't control,others because...well...we just didn't.

When school was over..it was time to make it on my own. College first,then employment. College was a real eye opener,away from the area i knew,the people i knew...and perhaps more significantly,away from my parents! True,i always went home every night,but i felt that whole 'different post code,they won't ever find out' feeling.It made me more daring i think,and therefore,perhaps made the real me come out more.It was a new start,no-one knows anyone else,no-one knows backrounds. So,you have the nervous silences at first,then after a little while,you all get comfortable,and then...the good times roll. My 2 years at college,i loved. I think i really developed as a person,and i realised i had this astute sense of humour,i could twist people's words well,and make the whole room erupt in laughter. It made me feel popular i suppose. A different kind of 'popular' though,i never went round telling people they were 'geeks'...

Still,that was the beginning i think. Then i got a job in a Games Workshop after leaving college,and again,new setting,new things learnt. New people in the store every day,then you had your regular hobbyists. It was brilliant for me. I'd learnt at college the old saying of "Everyone can be a friend,until proven otherwise" and i used that to my advantage.I was there a year,and in that time,i made a few more Friends,and had a lot of fun.

Then...i discovered the Internet. One of my best friends showed me Yahoo Messenger, how i used chat rooms,and how i could add people to a list so i could talk to them again if i wished. I was hooked. It was like magic when i talked to my first 'foreign' chatter. I remember some of that first conversation;

"Where are you from?"

"Germany"

"Get away!!"

Yeah,i spent some time in disbelief as people announced they were in America,Australia and even one girl from Bahrain.

This leads me onto current times i think. The girl in Bahrain,after initial chats,we realised we got on so well,and every weekend,i would hot foot it round to Edd's to steal his computer for a bit,and she was one i always talked to.Never a silence,the conversations just flowed like we'd met or something.We talked about serious issues and silly things.After 2 or so years of this,i came to the conclusion that here was someone in my 'Friends' list,she became like a little sister to me,and when we did eventually meet,we had a great time,and we still do.It's something i never dreamed of at school. Some say the Internet can be a dangerous way to meet people,and i would agree,you never know who's on the other end...but,if you both deal with it sensibly,it can work out.It means you both have to be genuine,you can't make things up,because obviously,if and when you do actually meet,theres a lot of explaining to do...

I was me. Jenan was herself,we met...and i think we'll be friends for the rest of our lives. I think she'd agree with me there too.

Now of course,i have an MSN Space,i've met people through this,they've been added to my Messenger..and so it goes again. I've met some truly astounding human beings because of MSN. I look at my list now,theres only 28 or so people on it,but i talk to each and every one of them. I don't just add people for the fun of it,i stick to my ethics,i will chat to them if i know we can get on,simple as. It works for me in life,so why not on the computer? It may be great to say "yeah,i got 100 people on my list",but when the conversaton goes along the lines of;

"hay,wot u uptoo?"

"not much"

"kool me eiver".. what is the point??

So,goes back to being genuine i think,be yourself. You get a far better group like that,as i realised some 10 years ago.What's even more superb,they're all fantastically different! I love it,and goes to show,doesnt matter where you're from,what age you are,what you do,if theres that spark,ANYBODY can be a friend. And if you meet them in person,so much the better.

All that ramble...guess it can be summarised by saying,however you meet people,be it at a mate's party,or in your favourite store,or on the Internet,be yourself. You'll reap the rewards of it sooner or later,i know i have,and i think it can be the same for everybody who thinks what i've just written out wasn't a load of boring old tosh.

As this is my MSN Space,and i've talked about people i know online,i'd like to say 'cheers' to my MSN crew,which consists entirely of at least 'Mates' ranked peeps,and a few 'Friends'...although,to be honest,i would say most are in between!

So,in no particular order,Tony,Ian,Abby,Alex,Nicola,Tabs,Becca,Caroline,Charlie,Cindy,Dan,John P,Grant,Jenan,Jon T,Alex M,Tammy,Chris P,Edd,Steve,Jon B,Rory,Amy,Stacey,Tracy and not least,Chris C...you're all amazing people,dont let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Essay over...I have no idea what i've just written,but if it strikes a chord,feel free to comment.

Love,Peace and Grease

Ben

P.S. - 'Breaks' is one year old!!

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	NIKKIakaFERTILITYGODDESS发表: OK I see now where we stand. Not one mention of me. Thought we was good ole buddies but not even one shout out or even a second thought to the one girl who got you introduced to the whole MSN space.......hummmph!!! I'm very offended........*****slaps you & storms off in a very dramatic way..****:P runs back & kicks shins in,,,..storms off again leaving you to roll around on the pavement clutching your shins***** LOL :P :P :P 8 月 14 日
	Aaron发表: Hello! How's your summer going? I must admit, I'm rather shocked that you haven't updated since June. Where are you? 8 月 9 日
	Severedanomaly发表: Who said I -wanted - to chat with you? Lol No I'll add you, but judging from the time you post comments, we'll never be online at the same time. Oh well... 7 月 16 日
	Severedanomaly发表: I guess I'd have to actually chat with you to know for sure if yo type AOHell style...lol. Yeah I missed Raw this week, but I got the recap on their site...not as good as watching it, but it works. Anyhoo...I have to go clean up Post-It notes from all over my house. 7 月 15 日
	DrewMatt发表: Dude, that's an epic entry I must say - methinks you've earnt your near-month absence after that! Interesting to hear you talk of labelling at school level - what's stranger is that, even though i've changed a great deal since then, on the odd occasions where I see people I used to be at school with I find myself slipping back into that same role (I was the bullied fat kid who then changed to become the organiser/jester goth figure in the 6th form). Not just a case of people remembering me like that and relating to me as such, but of me actually assuming that role myself as well - rather then asserting myselfas who I am now. Maybe there's something to be said for how the teenage years are what really form you at your core, and how you never really shake them off. Oddness. 7 月 13 日
	Death 2发表: Wow, thats some big arse comments right there. G'day Ben, been a while since i dropped by, my apologies. Catch you on msn mate, Rory 7 月 13 日
	Alex发表: RIGHT ON SISTER 7 月 13 日
	Ben发表: Blimey Ian...i nearly cried....!! 7 月 8 日
	Ian McKendrick 发表: Great words and sentiments Ben which underpins one of the lessons I've learned that I can sum up in my philosophy of life which is based on "Pots and Bubbles" My belief is that when we are born we are each given a little bronze pot. This pot has an open top, is about the size of a small sugar bowl and has a small handle. As we travel through life our pots get dented and scratched and after the knocks we suffer they become more and more battered. Just by looking at the outside of someone’s pot we can see how rough or smooth their journey through life has been. The main thing though is that when we are happy our pots become full of bubbles but when we're sad they become empty. As we go through our lives we meet many different people and we find that those we really get on with have a tendency to fill our pots with bubbles, and inadvertently we fill their pots with bubbles too. We also happen upon some people who take our bubbles away and they leave us feeling empty. The reason for this is that they are more intent on getting what they can from us than they are on putting the bubbles back to fill our pots up again. Using this analogy it’s fairly easy to distinguish who the givers and takers are, but more importantly we can then determine those who really care about us, and those that don’t give a damn. I find it really important to make sure that the first thing I do when I meet someone is to take a quick peep into their pot to see how full it is and I always try to find a way to slosh some of my bubbles into it for them – I usually start by giving them a great big hug – and that does it for 99% of the people I know! Sometimes we happen upon a friend whose pot is totally empty and if they’re going through a particularly bad time, e.g. a break up in a relationship or bereavement, you will find their previously clean frothy white bubbles have degenerated into a thick black sludge that clings stubbornly to the bottom of their pot. If this is someone you care for then you’ll find that you spend your time to use some of your bubbles to gently turn that sludge back into bubbles for them. If you really care a lot about them you even help them to knock some of the dents out of their pot for them, no matter how long it takes. The only trouble here is that some of that sludge from your friend’s pot begins to infect your bubbles and yours become grey as a result, but that’s what sharing friend’s problems is all about. Just be careful though that you don’t go and dump all of your dirty bubbles into another friends pot without warning, you need to try to spread them out so that your bubbles get cleaned up again through dilution. I’m a committed optimist, my pot is almost always full and very rarely does it get turned to sludge, but when it does I’m mindful that I don’t want to dump all of this on any of my friends. The way I deal with this is by writing poetry or I express this through my art. This way I can close the book to lock away all the bad stuff in my life without imposing it on the people I love and care for. I’m sorry if this all sounds a bit daft to you, but it’s an analogy that’s helped me in the past so please feel free to use it in your own lives. You’ll soon find that you will be able to quickly identify those who are givers and takers and easily discover those who really love and care for you. If everyone made sure (like Ben does) that everyone else’s pots were always full - the world would be a much happier and contented place for all of us. 7 月 8 日
	Severedanomaly发表: Do you actually use that AOHell writing when you IM? That makes me nuts. Don't get me wrong, smart people type like that, but that makes me feel like I'm talking to an idiot...ya know what I mean? 7 月 6 日
	Severedanomaly发表: By the way...I'm going to be reposting comments here to Myspace, and vice versa...I'm editing all names and irrelevant content...if you don't want me to post the shit you write, let me know. 7 月 1 日
	Severedanomaly发表: Undertaker would love me then...I love the technicalities, the rules, the structure. What would the game of baseball (or any sport, for that matter) be without rules? Just nine guys on a playing field with bats, balls, and gloves. More likely than not, one of them would get the idea to attempt to break the bat over some other guy's head. But that's just me observing the nature of men. People are always wondering when WWE is going to dust off that damn Hell in a Cell cage and actually use it...likewise with the plainer steel cage...and we're all slobbering at the mouth when we hear that a match with one of those is actually going to take place (Actually gonna happen between Booker T and Bobby Lashley soon-steel cage, not HIAC) and people say, "Why is WWE's extremity more fun to watch than ECW's? Why?! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!" (I made that last part up.) To those people, and they exist...I've personally spoken to them, I have two words for ya - well, DUH! What -are- the very things we crave? The things we rarely get!! And Vince MacMahon, as much as I think of him as suffering from an acute case of idiolatry, is a very shrewd business man, and capitalizes on this. And he knows that if he overuses these resources, and we get bored of them, we'll start looking for a stronger fix. What are they gonna do? Start holding weekly executions? Hmm.... I may write to WWE suggesting that one... And I know of a few people they could feature sitting in the shiny chair... But I digress... Sabu (I hate him...well, I actually hate the whole, "THE SUICIDAL, HOMICIDAL, GENOCIDAL, DEATH-DEFYING...SABUUUUU!!!!" ring announcement...how in sphincter of hell can ANYONE in the US of A be genocidal these days? Did Sabu kill of the Jews or something when we turned around to check on the cookies in the oven? Can anyone answer that question for me?) has one of those ring personas that people are attracted to...that bad-good guy thing...he would probably do well regardless of what promotion he was involved in. And let me say, that man is devoted to his profession. Do you think all those scars came from wrestling? Or do you think he maybe got involved with some kind of ceremony of the Sun and mutilated himself? Or maybe he was a bad kid and his dad beat the shit out of him...with...sharp...objects....? Anyhoo, all in all, I agree with you...but there are far too many flaming retards out there who never get tired of seeing guys beat the shit out of each other. This may baffle substance-craving entertainment fans like you and I, but where there's morons with money, there's a market for this trash. (I sound so holier-than-thou even as I maintain that I will be John Cena's next wife.) I don't think you and I can keep up an arousing dialogue unless the WWE/ECW/obsessed, "Ohmigod this is REAL!!" fans don't give us some more material to work with. 7 月 1 日
	Severedanomaly发表: Hmm...I'm in awe and envy of those of you who can keep an attention span long enough to write such a lengthy entry. I don't even use MSN much anymore, considering it's so frustrating and all...I do use Myspace though (much better, huh?) and leave my many Dennis Miller-esque rants on there. I've also noticed that you occasionally get comments that are in fact longer that your actual entry. Bravo!! Anyhoo...you need to check my ECW rant. 6 月 29 日
	laura发表: Well thats some deep shit. And your not the only person whjo hasn't been updating. I have also neglected my bloggage due to exam and consequent stress for exams. And happy birthday to the site. Almost elderly by some MSN Spaces standards. Sorry for the short comment. I am having some sort of writing mental block. 6 月 27 日
	kingjordan发表: for that janetty thing i thout he wos part of d-x because he used to tag with HBK. that might have been another thing. and my fave ECW match was RVD vs. john cena at 1 nite stand when RVD won thanx 2 paul heyman. u gunna wotch raw 2morro? john cena is having a re-match against RVD for tha title 6 月 27 日
	Karishma发表: Well, three. 6 月 26 日
	Karishma发表: Wowza. I shall be back to read that! I have about 5 different circles of friends. One ofr every country I've lived in I guess. Haha. 6 月 25 日
	Aaron发表: Yeeeeeooooooooo!! It's great to see that there are still some excellent bloggers like yourself still left after the apparent diaspora to MySpace etc. that has occurred in my absence. In terms of friends, I'm a bit of a contradiction. In school, I'm not very popular and I have a circle of friends that consists of various weird and wonderful people who have more than two brain cells (which is perhaps why we're so unpopular). They're all very opinionated individuals with distinct personalities and they make our otherwise jock/chav dominated school seem much more hospitable. Outside of school is where the lines start to blur. My circle of friends outside school could be classed as "socialites" because they all wear trendy clothes and like to party A LOT. My friend Claire is basically Paris Hilton in training, but she's hilarious to be around and so are the rest of them. There's a real contrast between the two groups, which is why I never let them merge or all hell would break loose. I think perhaps they reflect two different facets of my personality- my intellectual and opinionated side, and my wild child, vodka-fueled side. Anyway, there is no doubting the cultural revolution that the Internet has ignited. As you've pointed out, it's easier now to meet people from other countries, which lets you see from viewpoints that you would have otherwise been oblivious to. In short, it's the best thing since sliced bread and our lives would be crap without it. "Everyone can be a friend, until proven otherwise" What a great saying! I think I'll use that as my motto now, cheers for that :) 6 月 24 日
	Stacey-Louise发表: Wow, emotional. Nah...I'm only joking, somewhat. :) A 'WOOO!' is needed for that essay. I may find it intresting - well, damn right I found it intresting. As always. And shame on you for not updating for a month! You know how I love to update my space. Muaha. Nothing much else to say...as I can't sum all that up into a word or words... Stacey x 6 月 23 日